Your email moved me with concern for your life. I don’t have any magic words unfortunately to give you. You have the power within yourself to heal.
Food doesn’t turn to fat when you eat it and when you gain weight, it isn’t all fat either. Food is nourishment and you need to nourish your body. Equate this with loving yourself. If you have nothing in you, then take a look at the people who do love you and want to see you healthy. Trust them that they have your best interests at heart and do what they say until you get healthier. Your brain will come along, but you need to gain weight for this to happen. May sound kinda funny, but you are not thinking healthy right now because of anorexia.
Others have done it and so can you, but you have to take the steps, one at a time, each day, one day at a time. Eat, nourish yourself, love yourself, will get you healthy.
Please continue to see your therapist, doctor, and dietitian. They are your guides to a healthier future.